Support the Cause!

We are wrapping up our final night in Hawaii prior to our expedition to Christmas Island for the red lipped mountain lion search and destroy mission. We anticipate being on Christmas Island through New Years, but it is still unclear if we will be returning through Hawaii (see update below) or re-routing through another yet to be determined locale.

These are definitely exciting times! We are constantly receiving (from our valued supporters) and uncovering unconfirmed sightings and uncircumstandtial evidence at extraordinary destinations across the globe:

• Purple Spotted Hairless Platypus in Belize City, Belize
• Red Eyed Tree Slugs in Buenos Aires, Argentina
• Miniature Kodiak Green Bears in Kodiak, Alaska
• Atlantic Pink Dog Salmon in Stockholm, Sweden
• Polar Leopard Sea Cucumbers in Brisbane, Australia
• One Armed Silver Banded Lizards in Las Vegas, Nevada

In reality, there are too many migratory non-indigenous species to eradicate in one lifetime, but that's why we ask you to "Support the Cause!"

You're a smart cookie... you've likely already seen the "Support the Cause!" section. As a loyal (almost cult-like) follower, please do what you can to spread the word... DONATE NOW, Introduce-A-Friend, del.icio.us, or digg this.

Hawaii Update: Unfortunately, once again, we've found ourselves going down the wrong crossroads. Despite our early success on this trip, a purple spotted hairless platypus has yet (and likely won't be unless it sits on my lap while on the loo) to be captured, killed, and photographed. In addition, although the scuba diving excursion was breath taking, we did not encounter, spear to death, or photograph a three headed finless lionfish either.

It is also disappointing to report that our two new staff members have decided that they were better suited as waitresses in the Bahamas and will be catching a ferry to the mainland sometime this month.

On a positive side, we are now seeking to fill two positions. If you or anyone you know is interested in supporting a great cause for little or no pay, please visit our Careers section.

Christmas Island Here We Come!

Our Belize expedition has been temporally postponed. After another exciting day in Hawaii, we just received a report of an outstanding discovery on Christmas Island. And, considering that we are half way there, thought we would make the puddle jump across the Pacific Ocean.

On Christmas Island, located in the middle of nowhere and known for it's world-class bonefishing, reports are surfacing of a red lipped mountain lion, which is incredibly amazing considering the landscape and lack of significant foliage. This is clearly a transplanted crossbreed as there have not been a reported sighting of a mountain lion, red owl, and/or lipped sea cucumber on Christmas Island since the 1960's.

We have expedited our travel arrangements and will be leaving on Wednesday. Hopefully, we will have encountered and extinguished the purple spotted hairless platypus reported in Hawaii by then, so that we can focus on eradicating the red lipped mountain lion of Christmas Island.

Hawaii Update: In addition to the half plaster cast of track, four unconfirmed sightings, and reports of a three headed finless lionfish, we've discovered a 1/4-inch piece of an abalone shell that appears to have been devoured by a purple spotted hairless platypus. On the other hand, it may have been a green sea turtle, so we have sent it in for geobiological forensics testing.

Hawaii Update

WOW! Hawaii has proven incredibly promising... As a result of our visit, we have a plaster mold of half of a purple spotted hairless platypus track as well as four unconfirmed sightings.

This provides great validation for our organization - especially at a time when our shear existence is so controversial. As you can imagine, there are many doubters out there... often referring to themselves as "FPSHP Haters". This, of course, is incredibly unfortunate considering the dangers presented by such crossbreeds as the purple spotted hairless platypus.

For a moment, just consider the Foundation of the Purple Spotted Hairy Kangaroo. Had the dangers been recognized, funding would not have been an issue. On the other hand, if the Directors of the organization hadn't bet all of their funding on the University of Oregon to win the BCS Championship maybe they would still be around. Fortunately, we did not make that decision... we bet on LSU and still have a chance.

To that end - although we have yet to capture any purple spotted hairless platypus on this expedition, we will be heading to Belize in four days to explore the rain forests, investigate reports from local villagers, and bring in the New Year.

Myths, Lies, and Untruths

First, once again, thank you to our countless supporters that contacted us regarding the recent myths, lies, and untruths surrounding our foundation being closed. Fortunately, the information recently reported and posted at www.tmz.com is false.

Recognizing that this was simply an error, we have decided to proceed without legal action with anyone involved. We are fully capable of moving on without additinional recourse.

On a positive side, the recent coverage relating to the story has driven our web traffic significantly. The clear benefit is that more of Mother Nature's children will now be aware of the dangers of exotic species being introduced into the wild - specifically, of course, the dangers that the purple spotted hairless platypus present.

As a point of clarification, the Foundation of the Purple Spotted Hairless Platypus has not closed due to lack of funding and gross misappropriation of funds. We believe that there has been some confusion with our foundation and another that recently closed possibly due to those factors.

Due to a general similarity in names, we can understand the confusion. Another foundation that recently closed is the Foundation of the Purple Spotted Hairy Kangaroo.

For additional information and/or media inquires, please feel free to contact me directly.

Three Headed Finless Lionfish

Our mission in Hawaii is looking incredibly promising. During our research into the most recent sighting of a purple spotted hairless platypus, we have uncovered reports of a three headed finless lionfish on a local coral reef.

To validate the existence of yet another non-indigenous specie, we will be taking a detour and embarking on a scuba diving excursion with a local guide. Wish us luck!

On a different note, we'd like to thank our newest and only (unofficial) travel sponsor, SkyHigh Airlines. Stepping up, they have provided a wealth of resources for future expeditions focused on exotic species eradication. Thank you, SkyHigh!

Following Tracks...

We have arrived in Hawaii. It, as always, is amazingly beautiful.

Our new staff members are working out really well. Although they will still be in their probationary period for a few more days, there's a strong chance that they will be joining us for a few more purple spotted hairless platypus hunts.

They've got keen senses and immediately spotted tracks when we arrived at destination. Unfortunately, the tracks washed away as the tide rose at sunset, but we were able to secure half of a plaster cast. We will post an image once it's set.

Once again, thank you for all of your support! As a stanch supporter of the foundation, you have enriched the lives of people across the globe. You should be commended. Please pat yourself on the back as well as continue to spread the word across the world... SAVE THE WORLD! FREE MOTHER NATURE!

Hawaii...

Although we were, unfortunately, unsuccessful in our attempts to subdue the purple spotted hairless platypus in the Bahamas, we are now on our way to Hawaii.

This has proven much more challenging that some of our early attempts at non-indigenous eradication. For instance, we eliminated the short-spined golden crocodile in only two days on our first trip to the Florida Keys.

For your reference, we have added two key staff to our team for the Hawaii trip. Although they were only waitresses at the time, they demonstrated tremendous experience and depth of knowledge of our conservation efforts.

3 Days Later...

Well... it's been three days in the Bahamas and no purple spotted hairless platypus. We will be flying out in two days as there has been another unconfirmed sighting in Hawaii.

Until then, we will be focusing on the beach, bar, and casino areas where the reported sightings have occurred.

Side note: The Bahamian government has asked us not to return after this trip. They are concerned with the effect that our foundation's involvement will have a detrimental effect on local tourism. Do they not understand our plight?

Almost...

Today was almost a very successful day, but not quite. I say "almost'" because we were very close to capturing our first purple spotted hairless platypus today.

As you are likely aware, there was a reported sighting (as reported by most major media organizations) in the Northwest region of the Bahamas earlier in the week. Immediately upon hearing the news, we flew to Freeport to validate the sighting with local authorities and residents.

After only two hours, we identified someone that requested to remain anonymous (a local fisherman named Mark) that had actually heard the noises associated with the purple spotted hairless platypus. For those of you that are unaware, they sound like a small dog barking with a coconut caught in it's throat.

This is quite exciting! He (Mr. Anonymous) indicated that after he left the local adult drinking establishment he stepped on something, heard the noise, and saw something jump into the handbag of a fellow female patron.

After a thorough search of the handbag, the only thing he found was a small dog. Fortunately, for the dog, the purple spotted hairless platypus must not have realized it was in the handbag prior to jumping out. The results of an encounter like this could have been deadly... so we are told.

Thank You...

As the Director of the Foundation of the Purple Spotted Hairless Platypus, I would like to personally thank you for your support of the foundation. Your time and most importantly your contributions have allowed the foundation (and me in particular) to focus on the ever present danger of the purple spotted hairless platypus (and travel the globe).

As most of you know, we've recently changed our name from Foundation of the Portuguese Wild Nine Armed Porcupine to our current moniker. And, although we will very well change the name again at some point in the future (likely due to financial "issues"), we anticipate maintaining the foundation as is for some time.

At the same time, the foundation is dedicated to more than just the purple spotted hairless platypus. The foundation is dedicated to saving the world... from one non-indigenous species at a time.

Cross-breeding of multiple species has long been an issue across Mother Earth. Where do you think the zebras come from? If you guessed horses, mussels, and skunks, you are clearly educated on your natural environment (and might consider applying to Jeopardy).

As dedicated conservationists, we must fight for what is right... to save our Mother! Starting this blog will help us share our plight with the world, so please "take one down and pass it around."

feedyourfable.com

feedyourfable.com is an organization dedicated to creating recipes that attract invasive-non-indigenous-multi-cross-bred-exotic-species for eradication.

In addition to the usual suspects (Bigfoot, Nessie, Barney, etc.), they've concocted recipes for:

• Purple Spotted Hairless Platypus
• Lime Flavored Tidal Porcupines
• Six Toed Desert Cougars
• Magenta Skinned Jellyfish
• Black and White Golden Eagles
• Ozark Pumpkin Shrimp

There recipes have been consistently recognized for their near 40% success rate, while, as an organization, they received many (two) accolades for their enrichment to the industry.

Careers... Get a Real Job!

Seriously? You want to work with us? That's outstanding, but we'd like to be honest from the beginning... the demand for a position with the Foundation of the Purple Spotted Hairless Platypus is ridiculous.

We want to be clear (so that there are no misconceptions) that you will be competing with candidates from across the world from the best universities. It's like Donald Trump's "Apprentice" except you once you win you don't get paid, sleep in tents, and eat roadkill (usually killed same day if that's any consequence).

If you are still interested in competing with the best of the best, please send your resume including specialties (i.e. trapper, plaster molder, spear shooter, photographer, massage therapists, etc.) and experience listing all non-indigenous species captured, killed and/or photographed. Pay history is irrelevant.

Ideally, we are looking for fit, so if you can carry heavy loads, survive with minimal sleep, run fast and close the deal with a pedicure, you should consider a career with the Foundation of the Purple Spotted Hairless Platypus.

DONATE NOW!

Seriously? You want to donate? That's awesome, but, given our current "situation", we'd recommend you donate to another great cause.

Please consider donating to one of the following worthy, but not quite as exciting organizations:

Project AWARE Foundation: Dedicated to conserving underwater environments through education, advocacy and action.

Ocean Conservancy: The name sort of gives it away, right?

Habitat for Humanity: Dedicated to building decent housing and brighter futures for hard working families.

If you really want to show your support for the Foundation of the Purple Spotted Hairless Platypus, please Introduce-A-Friend or Twitter your support!

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