Extended Stay Resort...

First, Happy New Year!

Second, my apologies to our loyal, cult-like followers for not posting on the exploits at Christmas Island sooner, but after you read our report you may understand why.

Christmas Island was amazing yet invigerating with the red lipped mountain lion and Christmas Island government winning (this time) over the Foundation of the Purple Spotted Hairless Platypus.

Although we were not able to confirm the existence of the red lipped mountain lion on Christmas Island, we did discover that Christmas Island has a federal maximum security prison after a little mis-understanding.

The first few days seemed rock solid... Unconfirmed reports, photographic evidence, and biokinetic samples were coming out of the wood work everywhere. It was like falling off a log.

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Red Lipped Mountain Lion Fact of the Day:

Did you know that a coconut floating in the water with a slight wind chop looks like the head of red lipped mountain lion chasing prey in the Pacific Ocean? Unfortunately, there are a lot of coconuts in the area.

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After day three, everything went down hill... during a conversation with a local authority, we were arrested and spent Christmas and New Years in the previously mentioned federal establishment. Quite ironic... considering it's called "Christmas" Island.

Apparently, they thought we were with another organization - not to be named, but rhymes with peen piece. It seems there had been a "situation" earlier in the year - something about the ramming of sport fishing boats due to the inhumane nature of catching bonefish on a fly rod.

Anyway, after many long nights and deep conversations with fellow inmates, we were able to plead our case to the right person and they released us.

We will be returning to Christmas Island, but it won't be for some time and definitely not under our real names.

In the coming weeks, we plan to document our expediton - specifically the enlightening conversations with the inmates - and will post for your general knowledge. They shared their thoughts on global warming, HGH use in trigomist animals, geobiological autokinetics, bonefishing, and much, much more.

For now, we will rest here in Las Vegas before the next quest. Hopefully, we will be able to re-schedule the trip to Belize sooner than later.

Support the Cause!

We are wrapping up our final night in Hawaii prior to our expedition to Christmas Island for the red lipped mountain lion search and destroy mission. We anticipate being on Christmas Island through New Years, but it is still unclear if we will be returning through Hawaii (see update below) or re-routing through another yet to be determined locale.

These are definitely exciting times! We are constantly receiving (from our valued supporters) and uncovering unconfirmed sightings and uncircumstandtial evidence at extraordinary destinations across the globe:

• Purple Spotted Hairless Platypus in Belize City, Belize
• Red Eyed Tree Slugs in Buenos Aires, Argentina
• Miniature Kodiak Green Bears in Kodiak, Alaska
• Atlantic Pink Dog Salmon in Stockholm, Sweden
• Polar Leopard Sea Cucumbers in Brisbane, Australia
• One Armed Silver Banded Lizards in Las Vegas, Nevada

In reality, there are too many migratory non-indigenous species to eradicate in one lifetime, but that's why we ask you to "Support the Cause!"

You're a smart cookie... you've likely already seen the "Support the Cause!" section. As a loyal (almost cult-like) follower, please do what you can to spread the word... DONATE NOW, Introduce-A-Friend, del.icio.us, or digg this.

Hawaii Update: Unfortunately, once again, we've found ourselves going down the wrong crossroads. Despite our early success on this trip, a purple spotted hairless platypus has yet (and likely won't be unless it sits on my lap while on the loo) to be captured, killed, and photographed. In addition, although the scuba diving excursion was breath taking, we did not encounter, spear to death, or photograph a three headed finless lionfish either.

It is also disappointing to report that our two new staff members have decided that they were better suited as waitresses in the Bahamas and will be catching a ferry to the mainland sometime this month.

On a positive side, we are now seeking to fill two positions. If you or anyone you know is interested in supporting a great cause for little or no pay, please visit our Careers section.

Christmas Island Here We Come!

Our Belize expedition has been temporally postponed. After another exciting day in Hawaii, we just received a report of an outstanding discovery on Christmas Island. And, considering that we are half way there, thought we would make the puddle jump across the Pacific Ocean.

On Christmas Island, located in the middle of nowhere and known for it's world-class bonefishing, reports are surfacing of a red lipped mountain lion, which is incredibly amazing considering the landscape and lack of significant foliage. This is clearly a transplanted crossbreed as there have not been a reported sighting of a mountain lion, red owl, and/or lipped sea cucumber on Christmas Island since the 1960's.

We have expedited our travel arrangements and will be leaving on Wednesday. Hopefully, we will have encountered and extinguished the purple spotted hairless platypus reported in Hawaii by then, so that we can focus on eradicating the red lipped mountain lion of Christmas Island.

Hawaii Update: In addition to the half plaster cast of track, four unconfirmed sightings, and reports of a three headed finless lionfish, we've discovered a 1/4-inch piece of an abalone shell that appears to have been devoured by a purple spotted hairless platypus. On the other hand, it may have been a green sea turtle, so we have sent it in for geobiological forensics testing.